Revenge of the Stupid

Well, if the Star Wars franchise were a plane, we could say that the first three movies were a glorious and heroic take off that inspired near legendary fan followings and raked in more money combined than any series to date. To continue the analogy, the "Phantom Menace" marked the point at which our little plane ran out of fuel and started diving straight towards the ground. The nose dive continued through "Attack of the Clones" and disaster seemed immanent. In "Revenge of the Sith", George Lucas pulls off a crash landing that allows his films to be connected logically without the disgrace of total disaster or the redemption of a really good movie.

Revenge of the Sith is fun. It's worth seeing if you're a Star Wars fan and probably even more so if you're not. Just don't expect an Epic. While it's better than the first 2, it still lacks the depth of...anything...that's required to make a good movie.

Lucas seems to have finally realized that his audience is teen-agers and young adults, painting this film in a much darker light and leaving the cutesy annoyances like Jar-Jar Binks out. He also throws a few bones to the uber-nerds amongst us by showing a progression in the star ships from the sleek "Flash Gordon" style of the first film to proto-type X-Wings and Tie Fighters by this last one. The film also features the same amazing graphics and well choreographed fight scenes we've seen, but by the third prequel it feels overdone, sort of like the time you saw Morpheus dive into slow motion for the 3 billionth time near end of the Matrix trilogy.

You just can't substitute glitter for substance, and more than anything else that is the theme of the prequels. The first 3 films featured weak plots and cheesy acting, but there was something noble and heroic about them. The characters tell a story that has depth and beauty despite their weak dialogue and flashy smiles, and it's a story about sacrifice, struggle, redemption, loss and persistence: a story worth telling. The most frustrating part about these three movies is that the opportunity to continue this story is there and Lucas completely ignores it.

The redemption of Darth Vader, supposedly the center of all 6 movies, isn't even hinted at. Obi-Wan doesn't even attempt to offer him forgiveness or mention redemption, although the opportunities are blatant enough through their 10 minute fight scene. After being disfigured and transformed, Vader's first scene looks like something out of a Frankenstien movie, as he walks on stiff legs and rips his restraints from the operating table, and then crushes everything around him in a fit of anger. Natalie Portman's few scenes are all awkward and terrible, and we really have to convince ourselves that, despite their acting, she and Hayden Christansen (Anakin) are supposed to be in love. Time and time again there's the chance to develop characters and tell a real story, and it's ignored. It's a testament to his amazing idiocy as both a writer and co-director that Lucas could take actors who've proven their brilliance, like Portman or Ewan McGregor, and turn them into so much cardboard.

Like I said, it's not the worst movie ever, and it's probably not even really "bad." It's just hard to watch a franchise with so much potential and an epic story that was so much a part of my childhood devolve into this mess.