Things I Got Wrong: Christmas Edition

Like many Dads out there, my Dad, and grandfather too come to think of it, is the kind of guy who purposefully mis-interprets things people say to be funny. And it is - nine times out of ten it's clever and makes me laugh. I can't think of an example right now, but it's sort of like in Ocean's 11 when Brad Pitt misinterprets himself, repeating "I'm having the time of my life" as "I'm running away with your wife." That's right - my Dad is just like Brad Pitt, only a little bit older. But not much.

Anyway, this tendancy of my Dad's lead me to adapt a weird ability to hear the wrong thing being said in most situations, but unlike him I often don't realize it's a joke, and as a consequence I grew up misinterpreting a lot of things. One of those things was Christmas songs. Here's a few examples of lines I got wrong:

• "Let nothing you dismay remember Christ our savior was born on Christmas day" - I heard it more like, "Let none of the things that dismay you remember that Jesus was born on Christmas." I was dismayed by things like this itself - what the hell did it mean?
  
• "Outside the snow is blowing, and friends are calling you 'who?'" Why does winter make my friends forget who I am? Why would they call me that?
  
• "Dashing through the snow, in a one whore soap 'n' slay" - what the heck is a soap 'n' slay? And why is this appropriate material for Children?

Well, I guess that's all of them. Unrelated to Christmas, I also grew up thinking that "Dawnserly" was an appropriate adjective to apply to light thanks to misinterpreting our national anthem.